My sweet, strong-willed, spitfire Arbor girl. It feels like just yesterday I was arguing with her in the early hours of labor, telling her not to dare be born on April Fools Day, so she waited 38 hours to make her appearance on April 2nd. She did what I asked… but in her own way. It never surprises me when she decides to take a strong position on something. That’s her nature and I know exactly where she gets it from.
While driving home from school the other day, I was half-way engaged in her chatter, trying to respond to her while also paying attention to the congested neighborhood after-school traffic.
“Mom, lambs are baby sheep. *chatter continues* Do you like lambs?”
“Yes, they’re delicious! Especially in gyros or kababs.”
“No, not like meat lambs like animal lambs.”
Oh my damn. We’re having one of those parenting moments where I can teach my kid a bit about the facts of life or I can protect her innocence just a little longer. My daughter is a smart kid. We’ve talked about some of the big things like childbirth and the permanence of death. She can handle some abstract discussion. Okay. Let’s tell her the truth.
“Well, baby, it’s the same thing. We kill animals so we can eat their meat.”
“What?! That’s so mean! I’m never eating meat again!”
“Okay, baby, that’s fine with me. But you know there’s a lot of foods you won’t be able to eat, right? Like bacon, hamburgers, chicken nuggets, spaghetti with meat sauce…”
I continued giving her the practical disadvantages of choosing to be a vegetarian. She insisted she didn’t want to eat anything from animals. I asked her about eggs and milk, explaining that we get these products from animals but don’t have to kill them to get them. She insisted, no food from animals. Well, I guess my daughter is a vegan now.
Much to my delight, I was a vegetarian up until I became pregnant with Arbor. Severe anemia made me crave meat, then pregnancy caused me to become sensitive to nuts. Vegetarianism was out the window for me. Having the very child that caused me to change my lifestyle decide of her own accord that she wanted that lifestyle for herself was a singularly special moment for me. And to have her so committed to her values on the topic that she would go full-blown vegan? Impressive, to say the least.
Forty-six minutes later, Arbor was on the couch eating a cake pop, made with butter and eggs and who knows what else. I razzed her just a little, reminding her that it would be really hard to never eat these foods again. She softened her stance and decided animal foods are okay as long as they aren’t meat. Fair enough, kid. Fair enough.
It was at this moment I knew her vegetarianism would probably only last until dinner time. When she saw her options for meatless proteins on short notice, she was less than thrilled. Her prospects included about four varieties of canned beans, vegetarian breakfast sausage, sunflower seed butter and eggs. She settled on kidney beans and much to my surprise, cleared her plate of beans, mashed potatoes and green peas. Alright, I see you, Arbor. You can do this.
Before we headed to bed, I loaded the crock pot with celery, carrots and onion, then filled it to the brim with water. All night it cooked together to make a simple vegetable stock for me to use to cook for her. Over the course of the next week I would be all in on finding vegetarian and nutritions foods to keep her diet balanced and her taste buds happy. She tried bean and barley soup, seasoned kidney beans, mock meat spaghetti sauce and every lacto-ovo vegetarian’s go to– eggs.
The week carried on and I continued to cater to Arbor’s newfound dietary choices. She was still excited to be living her truth, even if it was mildly inconvenient. She visited her dad that weekend, and I packed leftover mockmeat pasta for her dinner and lunch. I’ve got your back if you wanna do this, baby. When I picked her up on Sunday, I felt certain she would have succumbed to the fragrance of bacon in the morning and given up. Much to my surprise, she held strong.
Then a couple days after she was home, Arbor came to me between meals and said, “It was fun trying to be a vegetarian but I’m ready to be my regular self again.”
“You did a great job, baby! The first time I tried to go vegetarian, I don’t think I even lasted a full day! I’m so proud of you for trying something new, sticking with it and having the courage to say you were done when you didn’t want to do it anymore. Good job!”
See, here’s the thing. Not everything is worth fighting with my kids about. Trying to cook for my babies when one of them was living her principles was a bit of a pain. But it was so worth it. I was able to show her that I can support the decisions she makes for herself, that we can all pull together and try new things to support one another and that just because we try something doesn’t mean we have to stick with it. Since our vegetarian week, Arbor hasn’t fought about the food on her plate as much. She’s more open-minded and feels empowered in making choices about herself. Whether she decided to be a vegetarian again or not, I know that we all left this experience admiring Arbor’s dedication and feeling good about our ability to rise to the Occassion to support her.
Last year, I had my first Thanksgiving as a single person in ages. So I decided to take that opportunity to host Friendsgiving for some of the people I adore. It was a great time but ultimately, a little stressful to organize for that many adults. This year, we had planned on having another new experience: spending Thanksgiving with my family in Oklahoma. Unfortunately, my budget didn’t end up allowing us to take another road trip but it did allow us to have a modest meal together as a family of three.
The drowsy kids got all of Wednesday off of school, so we used that time to get to enjoy a proper day off together. Since separating from their dad, I have the kids all week, but they spend just about every weekend with my ex. This allows them to get quality time with both of their parents regularly, while also allowing me to work on weekends so we can avoid the massive childcare bill that comes with me working a nine-to-five gig. As their school days have gotten longer, we’ve found less and less time in the evenings to really DO a lot of family stuff. So random Wednesdays off from school are a cherished treat for our family. Alistair, Arbor and I went with our neighbor (and honorary brother to me & Uncle to the kids), Ant, and his daughter to the Science Museum of Virginia to see one of our favorite planetarium films, We Are Stars. Afterword, we all went to play in the exhibits for a while, then a drive thru lunch at Burger King. I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom. We spent the afternoon watching TV and movies, hanging out and rolling the kids into a two-headed blanket burrito.
On Thursday, we had a simple meal that actually meant a lot to me. I made a baked ham with pineapple and brown sugar glaze, mashed potatoes from scratch, ham gravy and green peas. This time last year, Alistair was still diagnosed with food allergies to soy, green peas and pork and being considered high risk for peanut and tree nut allergies. This year, he has been cleared of all food allergies and has been enjoying trying everything from PBJs to bacon. Arbor was recently cleared for green peas but is still undergoing testing for nuts. She’s never had a pork allergy. So this seemingly simple meal really highlighted some things we are quite thankful for– the ability to enjoy more food experiences together.
Ant joined us for a plate around lunch time, then I took the kids to visit their dad’s side of the family for the remainder of their fall break. We saw many of the aunts, some cousins and they even pulled together a last minute Thanksgiving meal. Check out the delicious plate I got to take with me for after I was done driving Uber. I’ve gotta admit it really hit the spot to shove my face with sweet potato pie, mac n cheese and sweet potatoes when I got in. Lucky for me, I only decided to Lyft until about 10:00 PM before getting an invitation to play some cards, drink a few beers and enjoy the company of some of my favorite humans.
This Thanksgiving was easily the least stressful Thanksgiving I’ve had so far. It’s my favorite holiday but I always meet it with a little bit of grief and sadness. My parents live 1200 and 3000 miles away from me, respectively and my geographically closest relatives are my sisters who live three hours away. But this year, it felt simple. I was having dinner with my tiny humans and feeling exceedingly thankful for the incredible friends who have become closer than family to me.
Thank you for letting me rave about my low key holiday.
If we’re friends on Facebook, you know I am all about some Facebook Live these days. It seems almost every night that I am broadcasting from my kitchen, usually with my kids as petits sous chefs. I’ve had a few people suggest I give YouTube a try…. so I am! But I’m going to be a lazy girl at first and just share my Facebook live broadcasts through YouTube as well.
In case you missed it, here’s the video that started it all for me: a rant about Target and their awful sizing system.
I’m also trying to get my production quality up to snuff, so I’m starting to play with new tools to help me produce videos that are easier to watch. Check out this bad boy that I’m using! I’m doing a little research on what I can do about consistent audio as well so my voice sounds as clear whether I’m at the sink or the stove. If you have any Facebook Live-friendly tips or tools, please feel free to drop a tip or two in the comments.
Equipment is awesome but I’m also having to learn a lot about producing and promoting videos online. It’s a lot to take in while I’m busy growing a business and working on finishing up this pesky associate’s degree.
I’d really love your feedback on these Facebook Live videos and transitioning them over to YouTube. Please feel free to follow me on Facebook so you can watch most of our live broadcasts before I relocate them. Over the next few weeks, I plan on getting all of the Live videos off of Facebook and have them exclusively on YouTube. This will allow me to monetize the videos I make (yep, you’re going to see ads, if you don’t have YouTube Red) but I’ll still be posting them on Facebook so you can easily see them if you missed the Live broadcast.
One final note, I’m working on getting my email list back up and running. If you’d like updates on new posts with resources, videos and the happenings in The Drowsy House, please subscribe!